Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
