I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
