just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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