that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
