I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize