she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
