Define "chronic" masturbator.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
