Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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