This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
