I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
