Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
