i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just blew my weed a kiss
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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