Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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