Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
