I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
