Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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