Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
