Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
