Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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