i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
