Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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