Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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