i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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