it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
