i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A bitchslap is in order.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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