It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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