Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I wear drunk well.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
