I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
