All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
