when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
