Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
