I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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