Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
