Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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