That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize