she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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