There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize