Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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