the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
