he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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