my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
