ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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