I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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