then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize