end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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