It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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