Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
