Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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