i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
