Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
