Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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