pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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