glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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