So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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