it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
