a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
