I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
